Friday, December 04, 2009

Top Yacht: Sailing Star in a Standard Laser

INT: Top Yacht studio, usual three presenters, studio audience, various boats hanging behind etc

Clarkson: Before the final clip from our Less is More Challenge it's time to put a Sailing Star in our Standard Laser. This week we have a legend of offshore sailing - ladies and gentleman, Mike Golding!

Audience applauds.

Clarkson: Mike?

May and Hammond appear instead

Clarkson: What are you doing here? Where is Mike?

Hammond: There's been a little hiccup

Clarkson: What?

May: Well he was about to start out when a fluke burst of lightening hit a tree which then crashed onto his car

Hammond: He tried to call for a cab but then really unluckily a meteorite hit the local telephone exchange.

May: So he ran 5 miles to the nearest train station where due to a bizarre sequence of events involving goats and the overflow from a sewage works all trains were cancelled.

(beat)

Clarkson: So he's not coming?

Hammon: No, he says sorry - next time!

Clarkson: Well, they don't call him the most unlucky sailor for nothing.

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