Fab, thanks studio, Canaletto was a painter, who knew, I thought it was an ice cream! But wow isn't this great, like, I dunno hundreds of boats are like heading upriver!! I mean look at that!
Blurred shot of rain drops
Look at that one - its really big, goldy and red.
OMG I am getting soooooo wet! My hair is a mess!!
In the background the Queen's barge passes by
But who cares? I'm an old Glasto hand! So isn't this exciting! Let's talk to some people chosen completely at random.
Cut to family with faces painted with Union Jacks
So are you excited? Do you think this historic?
Family with faces painted with Union Jacks
Yes, we are very excited, its so historic-
Wow, there you go, what real people think!! Ok, back to the pageant thingy!
In the background more boats are going by.
I dunno, do those rowers look fit or what? OMG lets talk clothes - is this dress right or what? It's red, white and blue - geddit!!
In the background more boats are going by, bells are ringing, horns blowing.
Sassi Tweet (finger in ear)
I've been told we've going to listen to some of the music on the barges
Cut to the barge playing Handel's Water Music. After two bars cut to
Wow, that's like classic or something, like really historic, like some of those buildings. They're, you know, like ironic or something.
No I mean iconic, not ironic! Almost messed up there! We'd have to come back again next week!!
But seriously, isn't her Highness the Queen absolutely fabulous!! She's a bit like Madonna - don't you just luv her!!
Ok, now what's going on right now? Lets to turn to our boat expert Tim someone
Well that's a really interesting boat that's passing now, it was built-
Wow, thanks Tim that was great, thanks, but now lets talk about tomorrow. I'm told that Kylie and Cheryl will both be singing live - I can not wait!!
Puts finger in ear again.
Its been living history here, spectacular, joyous .... er... historic.... er but now its time to go back to the studio to mention Canaletto's picture again!!
What could possibly be wrong with that?